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So..the weather’s supposed to be nice at Stamford Bridge this Saturday…and…eh… Ah, who are we kidding? There’s just no tip-toeing around it so let’s just dive right in, as though we were John Terry and the story was a bed containing the wife or girlfriend of one of our colleagues. Yes, Chelsea are pushing for the title and Man City are aiming for the Champions League, but there’s only one story we’re interested in this Saturday. After his withdrawal from the England squad it’s clear poor Wayne hasn’t forgiven or forgotten and press speculation suggests he’ll refuse to even shake Terry’s hand. Will he try and kick him in the knackers though? That’s what we’re waiting to see. Terry’s off-field actions may be indefensible but will Bridge be able to raise above it? Sat 12.45pm SS1

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Chelsea v Man City – Hard To Defend

Someone at Aberdeen isn’t a very happy man. We’re talking about Mark McGhee, it’s not exactly a secret. The Dandies boss has laid down the law after watching his side fall to two disappointing defeats in a row and now he’s made it clear it’s his way or the high way. “They’re either going to change to work the way I work or they’re going to leave the football club and we’ll find new players to come in and do it the way I want it done,” he warned his players ahead of the visit of the club he left to move to the Pittodrie Stadium. Which probably had a little something with his outburst. Defeat wouldn’t just put Hearts 8 points clear, it’d also cement Aberdeen’s position n the bottom half of the table. Can the Dons rise to the challenege or will McGhee be Ab-ing another rant? Sat 12pm ESPN

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Aberdeen v Hearts – Not So Dandies

In what must be regarded as a pre-emptive strike in case Morgan Parra follows up his ‘the Irish are cheats’ with something defamatory about Welsh people, Richie Rees has tried to unsettle the in-form Frenchman. It’ll probably work, but not in a conventional rugby sense. “Parra controls a lot of what the French do, so I think he is the key,” the Wales scrum-half said, adding that he’ll be adopting the physical approach – in an Olivia Newton John kind of way, we boldly assumed. “He has had a very good start to the Six Nations but maybe I’ll get in his face a little bit and see where that gets us.” A kiss and a candle-lit dinner on the Seine maybe. France were in great form against Ireland Rees-ently, but will they win comfortable in Cardiff? Fri 8pm BBC1/RTE2

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Wales v France Betting – A French Fancey!

Being refused admission into Harrods wasn’t the worst thing that happened to Shakhtar Donetsk when they visited London last week. Mohammed Al Fayed’s Fulham beat the Ukrainian side 2 – 1 in their Europa League clash. [ ping , 20 watt light bulb] Harrods …. Moh Al Fayed…. we feel a conspiracy theory coming on. Perhaps it was the Cottagers owner’s cunning plan to disrupt their opposition. Don’t be ridiculous, that’s like saying the Queen had Diana killed by a gang of Paparazzi…. Roy Hodgson’s side have the upper-hand going into the second leg and the manager says Bobby Zamora will play a key role in the encounter. “He’s got two feet,” he said matter-of-factly, before adding something about being prolific. [snigger] Is a Shakh win on the cards in the Ukraine? Thurs 6pm ESPN

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Shakhtar v Fulham Betting – Shakh Horror!

During Tiger’s ‘I’m So Sorry (And I’m Also Still Available For Endorsements)’ press conference last week, he mentioned his experience with Buddhism and his plans to return to the teachings of the religion as part of his rehabilitation – and not just the bit about Tantra. “Don’t drag us into your mess,” is pretty much the response that came from Buddhism as the Dalai Lama revealed he’s far too busy upsetting China to know who Woods is. “Whether you call it Buddhism or another religion, self-discipline, that’s important. Self-discipline with awareness of consequences,” said Mr. Lama with a grin you only see on the faces of men in skirts. Tiger is still absent, so who’s got the win-stant Karma to triumph in the Waste Management Phoenix Open ? Thu. 3pm SS2

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Golf Betting – We’re Not Best Buddhies

Phoenix Open Odds Thurs 2pm, Live on Sky Sports

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Golf – Golf Betting

Cheltenham Countdown! 20 Days To Go! Captain Cee Bee to win the Arkle Denman to win the Gold Cup Special Double Price – 20/1

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The Real McCoy!

Last week he was making fun of him, this week Harry Redknapp is Roman Pavlyuchenko’s biggest fan. The difference a couple of goals make. “When he is in the right frame of mind and comes on like he did on Sunday, I have always said he is a fantastic talent with great ability, so I was delighted…You have got to get him at it a bit and, when he is, he is a real good player, there is no doubt about that,” praised Harry, albeit a little passive-aggressively. That brace takes the Russian’s total to, well, four for the season but he has only made nine appearances, seven of those coming off the bench. His record of 11 in 12 cup games since joining Spurs shouldn’t be ignored either. Now that Harry’s happy, will Roman be used to compliment Defoe in the FA Cup replay with Bolton? Wed 8pm Setanta

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Spurs v Bolton – No More Harry-sment

Inter Milan v Chelsea Money-Back Special Wed 7.45pm SS1 If this game finishes 0-0 Paddy Power will refund all losing 1st/last goalscorer, correct score & scorecast singles on the match. Conditions Champions League Coupon

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Money-Back Special – Special None

We worry for Sevilla when they visit a snow-covered Moscow in the Champions League. Their delicate Mediterranean constitutions won’t handle the freezing conditions and more importantly – flamenco shoes are useless in icy conditions. At least Vasily Berezutsky of CSKA is rejecting that mild stereotyping of a nation and he doesn’t think the cold weather is going to have that detrimental an effect on the Spanish side’s performance. “It would be a big mistake to think the Spaniards would just fall over on the slippery surface and give us a clean path to their goal,” he said, “but we might score during their siesta, mind” he didn’t add. If Sevilla bag 2 or more away goals @ 13/8 , los Nervionenses would almost certainly be hot favourites to reach the quarter-finals. 5.30pm SS4

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Champions League Betting – Cold Habits Die Hard?